STATUTORY WARNING: This Post can be harmful to your mood. This post is like coming out of a closet. I do not feel I have enough interesting things in my life to write down on a blog and share it with the world. Most of the times, my life is just in the making and half cooked things are not so beautiful to see. But just now I realized that by living in the closet and not coming face to face with the bad decisions in my life, I am living with my eyes closed. I have tried long and hard to overcome the past with many activities that give a short term excitement and take my attention away from all that's not fixed. But take it from me, you cannot fool your mind. And I need to face the burning questions and find answers to them, something that I am not too sure of. But what are these questions or events that I am rambling about. Well let's see. Maybe you can find a silver lining here, if you do let me know in the comments.
I started out in college in a pretty happy state and things went well till the end, though I didn't do everything I would have loved to do, but I got somethings I cherish and I can live with that. Now towards the end I really wanted to open a startup company. You ask why? Because of the thrill of doing something new and impactful. Because I so dearly want to build something that people start using in their daily lives; it helps me find a purpose to myself and to my education. My dedication to Cognitive Radios was the lighthouse which led me to leave the job and start as a project scientist. (Cognitive Radios are a form of intelligent radios that can enable communications between anything from your fridge and router to stranded family members in a flood, they are a really flexible design.)
But as it turns out academia isnt really the best place to test out ideas for entrepreneurship. So I enroll for a PhD as a safe option but soon enough I find this is not what I desired for myself. I get more happiness during a two week summer course doing something I love than I get doing simulations 8 hours a day, a whole semester. So I decide to take a final try for going to the US hoping this would satisfy my educational thirst leaving me atleast as happy as I was just after college. God has his own plans and after twice foregoing the chance, I am finally aboard a plane to the US to pursue PhD. And then I realize that my decision was motivated mainly by the years old desire to study in the US and that does not really match my much increased intensity for doing something fruitful and valuable for the future. So I come back to where I say, I have to face the hard questions and find answers. How do I do something that really interests me and I genuinely believe will interest me 10 years down the line. At some level I do want to do a PhD but I want to work on challenging problems in neuroscience, machine learning, compressive sensing and statistical signal processing. I want to move away from wireless communication because so much work has been done in it and people don't really know why they are doing something. I want to move from finding challenging solutions to trivial problems to finding simple solutions to challenging problems. I hope and I will work hard to find a niche where I am happy and I can continue with my PhD. Till then life is a sculpture in the making, and it changes interpretations from day to day.
Also I miss India and the coziness of home in Ludhiana. Thank you for reading my ramblings.
I started out in college in a pretty happy state and things went well till the end, though I didn't do everything I would have loved to do, but I got somethings I cherish and I can live with that. Now towards the end I really wanted to open a startup company. You ask why? Because of the thrill of doing something new and impactful. Because I so dearly want to build something that people start using in their daily lives; it helps me find a purpose to myself and to my education. My dedication to Cognitive Radios was the lighthouse which led me to leave the job and start as a project scientist. (Cognitive Radios are a form of intelligent radios that can enable communications between anything from your fridge and router to stranded family members in a flood, they are a really flexible design.)
But as it turns out academia isnt really the best place to test out ideas for entrepreneurship. So I enroll for a PhD as a safe option but soon enough I find this is not what I desired for myself. I get more happiness during a two week summer course doing something I love than I get doing simulations 8 hours a day, a whole semester. So I decide to take a final try for going to the US hoping this would satisfy my educational thirst leaving me atleast as happy as I was just after college. God has his own plans and after twice foregoing the chance, I am finally aboard a plane to the US to pursue PhD. And then I realize that my decision was motivated mainly by the years old desire to study in the US and that does not really match my much increased intensity for doing something fruitful and valuable for the future. So I come back to where I say, I have to face the hard questions and find answers. How do I do something that really interests me and I genuinely believe will interest me 10 years down the line. At some level I do want to do a PhD but I want to work on challenging problems in neuroscience, machine learning, compressive sensing and statistical signal processing. I want to move away from wireless communication because so much work has been done in it and people don't really know why they are doing something. I want to move from finding challenging solutions to trivial problems to finding simple solutions to challenging problems. I hope and I will work hard to find a niche where I am happy and I can continue with my PhD. Till then life is a sculpture in the making, and it changes interpretations from day to day.
Also I miss India and the coziness of home in Ludhiana. Thank you for reading my ramblings.
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